


tell me painted truths

by allthefadinglights



Category: Formula 2 RPF, Motorsport RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29217549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allthefadinglights/pseuds/allthefadinglights
Summary: Marcus doesn’t know how things ended up like this. He used to be so close to Callum, could tell him anything and everything that was on his mind.
Relationships: Marcus Armstrong/Callum Ilott
Comments: 14
Kudos: 54





	tell me painted truths

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! It feels like it's been ages since I posted something because I've been so incredibly busy and feeling unwell, but it hasn't even been that long. I felt like writing something a little angsty but don't worry, it all ends up fine. 
> 
> I've made a sideblog for this account! You can find me by the same name, [allthefadinglights](http://allthefadinglights.tumblr.com). For now, I hope you enjoy this!
> 
> I don't know if it's super realistic for Ferrari to do this but I can kind of see them do it to protect their image or whatever.

Marcus doesn’t know how things ended up like this. He used to be so close to Callum, could tell him anything and everything that was on his mind. Even when they were rivals in the same series, Callum encouraged him to talk to him whenever his frustration threatened to overwhelm him. He helped Marcus understand the car better by sharing his own experience, not caring that it might make Marcus a bigger competitor. Yes, Callum’s as competitive as the rest of them, but never at the cost of others. He helps when it’s needed and when he wants to.

So how Marcus ended up here, looking at Callum packing his things in their shared apartment, he’s not sure. Marcus wasn’t supposed to be home for another hour but business wrapped up quickly at the factory so he’d gotten home early in a good mood, intending to order them some takeout for dinner as a treat. Instead, he opened the front door to find Callum packing everything he owns. “What are you doing?” he asks Callum, who’s frantically trying to find all his shoes. 

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Callum snaps. “I’m moving out.”

“Moving out?” Marcus says faintly. “Why?”

Callum scoffs. “That’s really none of your business anymore, is it?” It hits a nerve, and Marcus isn’t sure why or why his eyes are burning and his chest is restricting. “I’ll be out of your hair sooner if you just let me pack.”

Marcus doesn’t get it. “Have I done something wrong?” 

Callum pauses for a second when he registers the hurt in Marcus’ voice, Marcus can see him hesitate. “Yes,” he replies then, pointedly not looking at Marcus and keeping his back towards him. “I don’t want to live with you anymore.”

Honestly, a punch in the face would’ve hurt less. He doesn’t even want to ask what it is he’s done wrong because it’ll just hurt him more. “Okay,” Marcus says quietly. He turns around to flee up the stairs, planning to lock himself in his room until Callum’s gone. This wasn’t how he’d expected his evening to go, especially since he’d been looking forward to spending time with Callum, maybe watch a movie and talk about everything and nothing.

“Are you not even gonna ask me what you’ve done wrong?” Callum calls after him. Marcus freezes, one foot on the stairs. “Are you not even gonna hear me out, beg me to stay?”

“Should I?” Marcus calls back, barely holding back tears. There’s a long silence but he doesn’t dare turn around to face Callum.

“Yes,” Callum replies eventually in a whisper, sounding as upset as Marcus is feeling. He’s not sure why, considering it was Callum being angry at him and not the other way around. He turns to face Callum eventually, who’s just standing in the middle of the living room looking defeated. “You weren’t supposed to be home yet. I was supposed to just disappear from your life.”

“Why?” Marcus asks, unable to stop himself. He’s not sure if he wants to hear the answer. 

“I just have to.” There’s a tone of desperation in Callum’s voice, pleading with him to understand, but Marcus doesn’t understand. Surely if Ferrari decided to split them up for whatever trivial reason, Callum would be able to tell him? He doesn’t see why they would, considering they’re saving on costs by rooming them together and it’s been a convenient solution for years. There’s been no reason to change that, they haven’t had a falling out and nothing has happened. 

“There has to be a reason,” Marcus says. He refuses to believe Callum requested the move and he refuses to believe they’ve gone from being so close to Callum hating him in a matter of hours. 

“I can’t tell you,” Callum whispers. “I just have to leave.” Sensing there isn’t going to be an explanation, Marcus nods and flees to his room, managing to keep it together until he hears the front door close and then a car starting. So, that’s it then. He can’t make any sense of it. The tears don’t come. He just gets a headache from the whole situation and an empty feeling in his chest. Years of friendship down the drain for no obvious reason. Was he really worth that little to Callum? He barely sleeps, keeps tossing and turning and thinking about the situation. At five in the morning, he still hasn’t come up with a good enough reason for Callum to leave like this. 

Marcus has to be back at the factory quite early the next morning and with only a short nap, it’s going to be a very long day. It proves to be even worse when Callum shows up around lunchtime, takes over his place in the sim without looking Marcus in the eyes once. He hasn’t had the heart to ask anyone from the academy what’s going on. He’s not even sure if he’d get an answer. Somehow, he manages to get through the day, running on double espressos and pure willpower. It doesn’t give him any satisfaction to see that Callum looks just as worn out and down as Marcus is feeling. He’s just about to get in his car and hide away in his too big apartment when Callum stops him.

“What?” Marcus snaps, too tired to bother with niceties. 

“Meet me at the cafe we have breakfast at in an hour?” Callum asks. It’s on the other side of Maranello, fairly remote and, as far as Marcus is aware, unfamiliar to anyone else related to the team. “Please?” 

He can’t find it in his heart to say no, too curious and impatient to get answers and too tired to argue with Callum. “Sure.” He pretends not to see the relief on Callum’s face when he gets into his car and leaves. He takes a shower when he gets home, changes into something inconspicuous and grabs his wallet and keys, eager to get out of the apartment that just serves to remind him of what happened yesterday. He’s about fifteen minutes early but Callum’s already there, sitting at their usual table, so Marcus decides to bite the bullet and go inside.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come,” Callum says quietly when Marcus sits down. There’s an espresso waiting for him and he downs it in an instant, not caring if it burns his mouth or not. 

“Why am I here, Callum?” Marcus asks him, studying his empty coffee cup. “Last I understood, you wanted nothing to do with me for some cryptic reason and you moved out real quick. You could’ve just told me if I was getting annoying or too messy and I would’ve changed.” 

“It’s not that,” Callum says. “God, it’s definitely not that.”

“Then what?” Marcus snaps, casting a glance at the counter to see if he’s drawn the staff’s attention with that, but he hasn’t. 

“You can’t interrupt me,” Callum says. The hand he places on Marcus’ finally makes him look up to meet Callum’s eyes. There’s a surprising whirlwind of emotions in them, not all of which Marcus recognises. “You have to let me finish talking before you say anything and when I’m done, I’ll just pay the bill and leave if you want me to.” 

“That’s not any less cryptic,” Marcus replies, but the warmth of Callum’s hand on his makes him a bit less angry. “Fine.”

Callum takes a deep breath before he starts talking, seemingly very interested in his tea. “I like you. Have liked you for ages and I’ve done a decent job at pretending not to but I fucked up the other day. I fucked up so bad and it’s just made everything fall apart.” Marcus’ head is already spinning. Callum likes him? He wants to ask if Callum means what Marcus thinks he means but he’s not supposed to interrupt, so he keeps his mouth shut. “Gianluca figured it out ages ago and he hasn’t told anyone about it but I was talking to him about you the other day and someone must’ve overheard because next thing I know, I’m being called into the boss’ office for a conversation. It wasn’t so much a conversation as it was a threat. It’d be bad for Ferrari’s image if it got out that I’m not....” Callum pauses for a second, Marcus watches him clench his jaw. “That I’m not the perfect image of a Ferrari driver that they’ve tried to make us into.” _That he’s not straight _, Marcus knows that’s what Callum is saying between the lines here.__

__It’s like Callum isn’t sure how to continue, so Marcus decides to open his mouth after all. “And they threatened you?”_ _

__Callum shrugs. “In a way. They gave me a choice, I could either move out and pretend none of this ever happened and disappear from your life without telling you why, or I’d leave the academy, my job as test driver and take my chances on my own to try and get a seat. I think you know which one I chose.” Marcus doesn’t blame him, the one thing they’ve always been taught to put first is their careers. And now that Callum’s so close to possibly getting a seat for next year, it’d be ridiculous to throw away all the hard work he’s put in for years over a crush. It’s a sensible choice but that doesn’t make it any less painful for either of them._ _

__“I didn’t know,” Marcus says quietly. “I’m sorry.”_ _

__“No, it’s me, I should be sorry. And I am. You might not have known I like you but I tossed our whole friendship away without explanation and I’m so sorry.”_ _

__Marcus squeezes his hand gently, making Callum look at him. “It’s mutual,” he whispers. “And I think we should have this conversation someplace more private than here. Our place in ten? I’ll leave first and you can pay and follow in a bit.” Callum nods, returns the squeeze as Marcus straightens out his face into a neutral expression and gets up without saying another word._ _

__Marcus leaves the front door open just a tiny bit, not sure if Callum still has his key and he doesn’t want to leave him waiting by the door in case anyone from Ferrari happens to pass by. They’re taking a risk, he knows that, especially considering what’s at stake for Callum, but Marcus can’t just let this slide and pretend it never happened. He’s known for a while he cares too much for Callum to be casual, the need to be close to him all the time and the domesticity of their living arrangement too much for just friends. He’s still going over everything Callum just told him in his head when he hears the front door click shut, Callum’s footsteps approaching. He looks a little uncomfortable, looking around the place he used to live until yesterday but with all of Callum’s things gone, it doesn’t feel right anymore._ _

__Marcus looks at him from his place on the sofa, Callum staring back at him from the doorway. Not even their first meeting was this uncomfortable but Marcus isn’t sure where to go from here. Actually, he does know where he wants to go from here but he’s not sure if that’s a good idea. Oh, fuck it. His life’s been thrown upside down in the last 24 hours anyway, what’s another risk? He’s got nothing to lose anymore. He gets up from the sofa, approaching Callum, who looks frozen in place. “They can’t tell us what to do,” Marcus says quietly, placing his hands on Callum’s shoulders._ _

__“Marcus,” Callum breathes. If he’s about to protest, Marcus doesn’t want to hear it. He slides one hand up to Callum’s neck, playing with his hair as Callum closes his eyes. “We shouldn’t.”_ _

__“You’re right, we shouldn’t. But I can’t remember the last time we actually did as we were told, can you?” It has Callum exhaling a laugh, the sound washing over Marcus and giving him the courage to close the distance between them. He presses his lips to Callum’s softly, carefully, and just waits there for Callum to respond. He does, hands flying down to Marcus’ hips to pull him closer and returning the kiss. They stay like that for a while, lips moving together softly, no space between their bodies, but neither of them taking it further. “I’m sorry,” Marcus says when he pulls back eventually. “You shouldn’t have had to go through that by yourself.”_ _

__“I should’ve told you,” Callum replies, burying his face in Marcus’ neck as Marcus runs a comforting hand down his back. “I didn’t wanna lose our friendship by telling you and instead I ended up losing it because I couldn’t tell you.”_ _

__“You didn’t lose anything,” Marcus counters. “You’re here, you explained and we’re fine. There’s nothing they can do to us now.”_ _

__“Isn’t there? They still hold both our careers in their hands.”_ _

__“So we take the power to punish us away from them,” Marcus suggests. It’s a bold idea that’s just popped up in his head, one that’s not going to earn them any favours with Ferrari, but it is the only solution if they want to make this work and not lose their careers for it._ _

__Callum lifts his head to look at him questioningly. “How do you suggest we do that?”_ _

__Marcus grins. “How bad do you think it’d look for them if they fire us both after we’ve just told the entire world we’re dating? Imagine the public outrage.”_ _

__Callum is quiet for a moment, cogs turning as he thinks it through. “You want to come out? Not just to our families but to the entire world?”_ _

__“My family knows and I’m not particularly concerned if it breaks a few fans’ hearts,” Marcus says. “And I don’t think either of us are good enough liars to keep this from Ferrari for very long. But only if you want to, I’m not gonna decide this for you.”_ _

__Callum huffs out a laugh. “Fair enough. Can I propose a counter offer?”_ _

__Marcus nods. “Sure. What do you have in mind?”_ _

__“We take it slow for a month or two, see how things go between us and if this is what we want to do. And if you even want to be with me. Then we consider taking it public. We just have to keep it hidden for two months. Think we can do that?”_ _

__“We’re gonna be on the road in a week, so they’d have a lot less opportunity to watch you around the clock. They’re not aware that I know, so I won’t be under scrutiny. Just you.”_ _

__Callum smiles. “I think I can pretend to be sad and heartbroken for a while longer if I get to kiss you in secret. So we’re doing this?”_ _

__“I’m up for it if you are,” Marcus says. “Like I’d ever turn you down.” Callum doesn’t reply, just kisses him again. Marcus could definitely get used to this. “Right now, however, I’d really like to get some sleep because I barely slept last night.” Callum hums in agreement and Marcus guesses from the dark circles under his eyes that he didn’t get much sleep either._ _

__It’s new, but at the same time so familiar to Marcus to have Callum curled up against his back, one arm over Marcus’ chest as Marcus tangles his fingers with Callum’s. “Goodnight Marcus,” Callum whispers. Marcus squeezes his hand in return._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I will love you forever if you leave a comment <3


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